Scene Archives

is not quite pacing inside their room (which she ensured was their room, with a bed large enough for three and space for all of their stuff, which is becoming a sizeable amount of stuff) but she isn’t not pacing. She keeps looking at Aurelius, like he’s going to disappear as soon as she looks away.

: “If you wanted more, we probably could have asked for another cone when we left.”

stares at him. Just stares, doesn’t bother to try not to be Weird about it. “You almost died. You were dying.”

: “There was zero chance of me dying, but I was knocked unconscious and severely wounded for a hot minute, yeah.”

opens her mouth to argue—she felt what she felt—but shakes her head instead. “What do you mean there was ‘zero’ chance of you dying? How could you possibly know that?”

: “Well for one, the rest of you were there and I have no doubt about your collective ability to adjust, adapt and protect.”

: “For two, if it had killed me, I would have simply decided to have never gotten hit in the first place.”

: “I don’t think you can use your techne if you’re dead. Or if you’re unconscious.”

: “I don’t see why not, unless it snuffed out the entirety of my spark. That’s a little bit above dead though.”

: “I mean Jorule said he couldn’t control your—er—body? Which might imply it was something a little more dire than you’re treating it.” She really is pacing now. “Besides, I felt it. You would have died if Dyu and Qarina hadn’t shown up. Archie and I were able to stabilize you, but only just, and probably not long enough to get you help.”

rolls a shrug as he watches her pace back and forth.

: “I mean, I’d say we can go find out for sure, but I can’t imagine anyone’s really in a hurry to see how that test works out either way.”

stops pacing just to look at him. “I don’t understand why this doesn’t seem to concern you at all. I don’t—even Awa has been a little more careful with his life than you have.” There’s something bleak in her expression. “Even I’ve been trying to take care.”

: “Because I didn’t die, and not only did I not die, but I came out of the encounter better than I left it…?” He lets out a breath. “I’m not - trying to be flippant about dangers and threats - but on the flip side I can’t really conjure up the energy to freak out about what might’ve happened if something that didn’t happen, had happened.”

nods.

starts pacing again.

: “…I suppose I can try and be a bit more somber about it if it upset you that much…?”

shakes her head.

: “You’re right. There’s no point worrying about what didn’t happen. I’m the one being foolish.”

: “I didn’t say you were being foolish, or even imply it. It’s perfectly reasonable for you to be a little rattled or upset. I just said that I wasn’t worried.”

: “We both know me being upset about things that didn’t happen is a recurring problem,” she says flatly. “You didn’t say it, but I’m saying it.”

: “Fair enough. I won’t argue that you don’t have a lot of anxiety over what-ifs.”

laughs flatly. “Yeah.”

: “I am sorry to have added to that though. Maybe I should have rewound anyway, but Jorule knew the healer was there before the limit got hit.”

stops pacing again and goes over to him, taking both his hands. “Please don’t apologize because I’m fucked up about something. I—please.”

: “Okay.”

: “I’m sorry I can’t be normal about these things. I’m really, really, really glad you’re all right. I wish. I wish it didn’t feel like it’s only weird, contingent, random luck that you are.”

gives her hands a squeeze, before pulling her into a hug. “If it helps, there was nothing random about it.”

hugs back and probably isn’t inclined to break the hug. If he was sitting, she’s in his lap now. If he was standing, she’s just pressed up against his side. “What do you mean?”

: “Ravhi had good reason to suspect something out of the ordinary would be happening soon, and gates produce an insane amount of energy when first opened.”

: “And I noticed the elemental before it did anything, and stopped anyone else from getting close to it.”

opens her mouth to ask about Ravhi, but then—tilts her head at him. “Did you know what was going to happen?”

: “Specifically? No. But I knew it was weird and probably best not to let anyone else in range of it. It stabbing me without laying out the stakes - heh - before I could work out exactly I was looking at was, admittedly, a bit surprising.”

: “‘Admittedly, a bit surprising,’” she echoes, and she does laugh a bit at that. “You do have a way with understatement sometimes.” She closes her eyes and leans into him.

: “I trust you. I trust you to make those decisions. I trust you to lead the way. Sometimes I get weird and hysterical about it, but that’s … just my dumb animal brain overriding that trust.”

: “Peril of becoming weird after having grown up instead of being born into it, I guess.”

’s mouth twists a little. “Yeah. I know. I have a lot of remedial lessons to learn and I’m not learning fast enough.”

: “All things considered, you’re doing just fine.”

: “I guess.” She shrugs. “Do you think—do you actually think we’re going to stop the cycles before we have to live through one ourselves? You talk like you do, but.”

: “Oh, no. Not at all.”

blinks at him. “Expand on that?”

: “I mean… you’ve seen the track list? I can’t really look at them and come to any conclusion other than ‘we’re going to watch at least one world end’.”

: “But, importantly, that’s only halfway through and we will then see things get better again, probably have a lot more context and pieces to work with, and then set about solving the root problems.”

: “You realize, though, that means everyone we’ve met and learned to care for—minus a couple outliers—that means we lose them too, right?”

: “Maybe they will, maybe they’ll reincarnate, maybe they’ll find a nice safe place to hold up in.”

pulls a hand back to scratch at his head, before wrapping it back around Salme. “Don’t think there’s a lot I can do to change whatever happens around that moment, though. And, honestly, I don’t know a lot of people I don’t except to make it through some way or another. Turns out I haven’t spent a lot of time making friends since I awoke up.”

: “I had wondered if that was maybe on purpose, actually. Your not reaching outside of our Clan too often.”

shrugs slightly. “Haven’t had much reason to, beyond the Beast. And then… well, it’s not me those people wanted.”

: “Turns out most of the people I find interesting just so happen to already be starwatched.”

: “Oh? And who do you find interesting?”

: “You, of course. I mean, any of them really.”

quirks an eyebrow. “I know I wasn’t very interesting at all when we first met. And I think you know any mystery I might possibly contain at this point. Tsem, certainly. You got along with Caion, but you didn’t seem to find him fascinating. I don’t think I ever really saw you interact with Synthesis, and on the Beast …”

: “On the Beast, things were weird.”

: “Initially no, you got more interesting after learning your secrets.”

: “Same with Wolf.”

: “Honestly of the four flourishing, your King, the one that’s somehow been alive all cycle but didn’t know the land cycled, is probably the least interesting? And like, what a bar to have to clear.”

makes a face. “Sometimes the Palimpsest-King knows the about the cycles, but I never—Badri and I talked about telling them, but it never felt right?”

: “Caion’s cool, but I feel like certain other people have got all the ass kissing he needs covered. As for Synthesis… Well, it’s not like someone being interesting necessitates I interact directly with them, though I will remind you I was the one that was there when they briefly reverted to being Thesis.” Small smile.

looks at him and laughs. “Yeah, okay, you get to be smug about that.”

runs a hand through his hair. “What about here? Qarina obviously has a lot going on, and I think Dyu knows—hm. Something. I still think there was something strange about the healing incantation. What do you think about Ravhi?”

: “Dyu very clearly does not know shit, yet. But they have the strongest magic I’ve seen anyone use on any plane - strong enough that it actually feels like magic and not just gnosis work - and you better believe that’s interesting. Ravhi feels like he’s going to be the uh… what’s the term it used… hrmm. Well, the “Boss“ for lack of better word that’s going to have the next best idea of what’s going on behind SQ.”

: “Guy immediately called out the per-sundered world and offhandedly knew The Date.”

: “What do you mean by it feeling like magic and not just gnosis-work? Is it—I was wondering, almost, if he we rewinding time just for your body, specifically. That’s why—sorry for yanking your sunglasses off, but for a second I was worried … I don’t know. ‘Retrace…and spin…the thread of memory’ felt … like maybe you’d have reverted to who you were in the Architect’s Sanctuary, or … I don’t know.”

: “Oh. Yeah, that makes sense.”

: “Uh, what do I mean. Hmm…”

: “…Well, I would say that in general, gnosis doesn’t really feel as… powerful? It’s versatile, certainly, and you can finesse some truly technically impressive things with it, like your methix. But as far as combat magic goes, the gnosis rites are all dog shit. I have memories of worlds where the power of Dyu’s spell that left you speechless was, like, the baseline power of healing magic…?”

pauses for a second.

: “You know, maybe that’s part of why what happened earlier didn’t bother me. I have a lot of memories of resurrection spells being easily accessible. And in some worlds, all that happens when a Pure Heart dies is that they wake up in their bed the next morning, but otherwise perfectly fine.”

: “Yeah. Jorule mentioned that once. But then one time he also seemed fairly concerned I was going off to maybe kill myself, so.”

: “You’d feel really silly if this wasn’t one of those world, yeah?”

: “Yeah. Good thing I haven’t made any actual suicide attempts and don’t intend to.”

nods.

thinks for a moment, and then says slowly. “Where I come from … you’re right. People don’t come back to life. But here’s different, right? Xilai told us about how they just … hatch people and Kin when they need more? Maybe that’s part of it. Maybe the rules are different here.”

: “Hmm, maybe. Something we can ask about, now that we’re here and in possession of someone not afeared to ask invasive questions!”

laughs a bit. “I don’t think they’ll be answered. I think Ravhi was giving us a bit of the runaround. Though maybe it was because we are a group of clearly insane strangers.”

: “Ravhi doesn’t need to be the one answering, but I mean, you could just convince Wolf to be the one to ask him where babies come from…”

looks at him for a long, long moment.

bursts out laughing.

: “Bold of you to assume I can convince Wolf to do anything at all.”

is still laughing though.

: “I believe in your ability to find a way.”

snorts. “I don’t. He was acting like a teenage girl with her first crush.” She shakes her head, and then says, a little more quietly, “I don’t think it’d be right to try to use Wolf to get at answers from Ravhi. I want them to have their chance at … whatever is going on between them.”

shrugs. “Especially when we have lots of other avenues for information we haven’t exhausted yet.”

: “Well yes that was obviously just a joke. I’m sure Dyu will love the opportunity to funch at the question before small humans ask it.”

: “Oh. It had … actually occurred to me that Wolf could probably leverage answers we wouldn’t otherwise get from Ravhi.”

: “Sure, but that’s that and this is this.”

: “Anyway.”

: “Anyway. I’ve been trying to. Think about, and be okay with, the fact that I’ll probably lose … Badri, at the very least. People on Almachadta I’m starting to remember, one by one. I don’t know if the starwatched will be safe, and I don’t know if they’ll reincarnate or not, but it’s not the same, I don’t think—a person without their memories. It’ll still matter, it’ll still be good, but—“ she shakes her head. “I think we’ll be okay, but I’ll admit I worry the most about you. Because it was some miraculous accident that made you, and—“

nudges his head against Salme. “I’ll be okay. I promise.”

nudges her head back. “You keep your promises. Are you absolutely certain you can keep this one?”

: “I am.”

takes a breath and nods. “Good. Because if we end up having to swap you for Jorule or, fuck, you somehow get rewound for Annarr, we’ll—“ she stops herself. “We’d manage,” she says. “I know Jorule is reliable, even if the interpersonal dynamics might get rough, and I’m sure Annarr would be a fine companion, but. But I wouldn’t be okay. I’d find a way through, but I really—wouldn’t be okay.”

: “That is, in a kind of messed up way, nice to know.”

: “Which … part?”

: “That you wouldn’t be okay without me.”

: “Did you … not know that?”

: “I could hazard a guess, but ‘oh yeah, for sure’ seemed maybe a little too glib for an immediate response to that.”

laughs a little, and it’s a bit wet, because she’s apparently a crier now. “The only reason I held it together as well as I did—and yes, I know I wasn’t holding it together very well at all, thanks—is because I kept thinking that’s what you’d do. Find what needed done and do it. Keep going forward until everyone was safe. I think about what-ifs all the time and I’ve thought about what it would mean if I lost you, and—save the world anyway, no matter what is the conclusion I came to. But I’d be a fucking wreck.”

: “Probably not very hot to know your girlfriend has thought about you dying a lot, but, whatever.”

: “I’d also,” she adds, a little more quietly, “I’d also rearrange the stars themselves to get you back.”

: “I can believe it.”

: “Which part?”

: “That you’re strong enough to get things done, even if on your own, even if you were hurt. And that you’d rearrange the stars to find me again. You’ve done it for less.”

swallows hard. “Oh. I thought you were going to go with the easy joke and say something about me being a wreck.”

: “That goes without saying, doesn’t it?”

laughs.

: “Is there … anything on your mind, I guess? I just kinda threw a lot at you.”

: “At this point, I am fairly used to it.”

: “Nothing… serious comes to mind though. Honestly, at this point, I’m primarily wondering why none of their themes played? And if we’re going to run into the other starwatched before we leave. And, more banally, if they have ice-cream cakes.”

: “Oh. You’re right. When we meant the others that weren’t us their themes played immediately. But they—hm. Can you tell if they’re Pure Hearts? That’s the difference, right?”

: “Even if that mattered, SQ’s still played exactly when it should have.”

: “Assuming it actually is hers—all the rest of our songs had lyrics. And I think, by a lot of metrics, she’s an outlier.”

: “NIP was being a bit different about how the Observed Dyu and Qarina, though, and that two precise minutes of silence seems like when Ravhi’s would have played though, so… I duno.”

: “Different how so?”

: “Uhh.”

scrunches up his face.

: “It’s hard to explain but. Generally speaking, they’re very… reactive? But in a way that’s sort of like leading us to specific conclusions. Where as with other people it’s more… following after what they’ve done?”

: “And they were treating Dyu and Qarina how they tend to treat the six of us.”

: “Oh. Yeah. I think I know what you mean—talking directly to them as well.”

: “Yeah.”

: “It’s odd because—I don’t know if I told you this, but I think Jae can hear silmät? She responded to something she couldn’t have possibly seen, once, that they were narrating. But it wasn’t the same as with Qarina and Dyu.”

: “Wouldn’t be surprised if she could.”

: “Well, again, weird outlier in a lot of ways.”

: “Do you have reason to think we won’t meet The Survivor here? So far we’ve met everyone in the ‘Traveler’s Guide’ when we’ve gone to a world.”

: “Only in so far as there’s literally nothing stopping me from creating a KGP and leaving right now.”

: “Sure, but it seemed pretty clear we won’t be able to come back for some time if we leave now.”

: “Uh-huh.”

: “Though I wonder why it would be hard to come back.”

: “The innate kindness recoils at the idea of depositing us back into this sun…? Couldn’t tell you. Maybe there’s not a strong enough anchor binding this plane to the group, or the ziggurat for whatever reason.”

: “Hm. I was wondering if it … might have something to do with time? I don’t know if you saw my tomestone message to you and Awa about all the space stuff, but … Jae told me black holes are dead suns, and that the moons on the Beast seem to be illuminated by sunlight that should be coming from where the black hole currently is. I wonder if it’s like … a switch? Or … urgh. That’s just speculation.”

: “Wolf also said something about Mu’s sun having some temporal weirdness about it, though it was a while ago, when we were on Samudra.”

huffs a very dramatic sigh. “I guess there’s really nowhere to go but forward and hope for answers.”

rubs at his chin.

: “I believe that conversation was more “maybe time ran slower under the angry sun“ which we… collectively forget to test, I guess?”

: “Anyway I can’t even begin to imagine what a black hole might have to do with a KGP not wanting to return us to Mu after we leave but.”

: “…What word did NIP use exactly anyway? Alacrity…?”

: “…Would be funny if it really was just the gate deciding the world was too harsh and would only return us reluctantly.”

: “Yeah. Alacrity. Speediness.”

snorts. “Oh yeah. ‘Face down the end of all things but don’t go to Angry Sun world, it’s too harsh.”

: “Cheerful readiness, promptness, or willingness.”

: “Did you just … somehow access a dictionary?”

: “I’m just saying, we’ve seen dumber things than a gate being tsundere about sending us somewhere.”

: “Tsundere?”

: “No, I accessed a bird.”

: “Uh.”

: “Two-faced or contrary, but in an endearing way….? ‘i dont REALLY want to take you there but i GUESS i will’.”

: “So … Jorule?”

: “Close enough.”

: “I didn’t realize that the KGP had a personality in that way.”

: “Me either, but it wouldn’t surprise me if it could.”

: “Well maybe it’ll let up if you invent … ice cream cake? That just sounds excessive.”

: “Excessively delicious, yeah.”

: “I do have to admit that the frozen treats were very good, and not over-sugared like … many of the things on Samudra.”

: “Almost, but not quite, worth watching you almost, but not quite, die.”

: “For sure.”

: “You’re not wrong though, Samudra went too hard on it. Mu’s got the levels just right.”

: “I think the weirdos in the labs went too hard on the syrups? At least, that’s what the people in SauceLab told me.”

: “Whoever fucked up, I’m absolutely never, ever engaging in sweet tea ever again.”

laughs.

: “I think Awa kept some, for some reason? It was in one of his flasks the entire time we were on the Beast.”

: “Imagine sweet tea, but lukewarm.”

: “Who knows why he does half the things he does.”

: “I usually think he makes perfect sense. Or at least … perfect sense by his own standards?”

: “And yet the tea flask eludes you.”

: “Well, I did say usually.”

: “Ah, I suppose while I have you here—would you like me to dye your cloak or add anything to it while we’re here in Mu? I considered going for a red to match your gear, but I wasn’t sure what you might want.”

: “Also,” she frowns, “how you’re going to fix the giant hole in the chest.”

: “It’s fine as is, I think. I was going to do basically the same thing and leave it in white anyway.”

: “That is a simple, if annoying, process. Just desynth it, then recycle the materials. Waste a lot of crystals, but probably easier than doing real repairs.”

: “Desynth? Wait. Did you somehow make that out of all those weird crystals we found at Annarr’s house?”

: “Yeah, a couple base materials and then a handful of crystals. That’s why the place was so lousy with ‘em, they’re a crafting catalyst.”

stares at him. “Are you going to break my heart and tell me that you weren’t forging things the old-fashioned way with a hammer and a lot of metal, sweat, and work?”

: “There’s a little bit of that, but certainly not the whole time. That sounds exhausting.”

: “Also this is mostly leather anyway.”

: “Yes, well, I am aware.” She noticed. “Leatherwork is also not something I’ve seen people do with … crystals?”

: “Yeah that’d be a bit weird with the lightdrinkers around.”

is looking over his clothes with new eyes—a bit of wonder, and a bit of confusion, and maybe a bit of judgment.

: “I mean, they make little crystals and hand them out for use with gnosis-work? It’s not like. I mean. We still use wood for things on Almachadta as well?”

shakes her head. “I guess I must seem really backwards, doing everything by hand.”

headbutts her, gently. “Seem really hard working and dedicated to your particular craft.”

looks at him. “Someday. You’re going to tell me how you went from going ‘…Ah’ when I kissed you to just. Being very good at being a boyfr—at being a partner from just. Staring at the ocean for day.”

headbutts back and kisses him on the jaw.

: “It’s called character growth, babe.”

: “In a single day?”

frowns. “You wouldn’t understand, you’re not a Man of the Sea.”

pulls out her hand and makes a hand puppet. “‘Hi, my name is Aurelius and I’m fucking brilliant at literally anything I set my mind to.’”

bites at him for the ‘Man of the Sea’ comment.

turns his head to the side, “What a delightfully small world, my name is also Aurelius and I too am fucking - ow!”

: “That didn’t hurt you big baby. I barely nipped you.”

: “I’m going to go find you a chew toy at the markets…”

: “I will bite you hard enough to start a Rite if you do, Light help me.”

: “Woe upon ye if I set my mind to it.”

does trace her hand over where she just nipped him, letting some flourishing gnosis heal the nearly non-existent damage, but mostly just because it feels nice. “I know. Why do you think I keep asking you what you actually want? Once you decide, you’ll shine so brightly it’ll blind everyone.” She pauses, then adds. “Except for me. Because I’ll have remembered the sunglasses. Which. I am going to acquire a pair of my own, because the light here is wretched.”

: “Assuming they’ve bothered inventing them yet. Didn’t look like Qarina or any of those human children were wearing any.”

: “Well. Then I’m going to ask my handsome, talent, brilliant boyfriend to help me make a pair.” She flutters her eyelashes at him, a little comically.

: “Shame this thought hadn’t occurred to you when making the cloaks, but I suppose worst comes to worst I do still have the welding goggles laying around.”

: “How would making cloaks have helped with making sunglasses?”

: “Oh, just, it would have been easier to get the mats on Beast.”

: “Oh. Well. Jae was planning on—well, that wouldn’t help us now. She was planning on getting us a supply drop in the Cathedral somehow, if you have any requests. Hm. I’m sure I can figure something out.” She frowns out the window, heavily shuttered. “I honestly didn’t expect it to hurt my eyes this bad. Almachadta was brighter than any of the places we’d previously been.”

: “I think part of it’s the sand?”

: “Do you mean the sand reflects the light?”

: “But yeah. Would not wanna live here, for sure. Instant bottom of the list.”

: “Yeah.”

: “Oh? Even Almachadta wins out?” She has a bit of a small smile at that.

: “Of course.”

: “I do think I’d pick The Beast if I had to. We haven’t been to Valaïs, of course, but. I’d pick The Beast thus far. What about you?”

: “I mean. Yeah. Same.”

: “Even with all that awkward history following you around?”

: “Even that will be history sooner rather than later.”

: “The future matters more than the past.”

: “Well, that, and things just move a lot faster on Beast than they seemed to on Almachadta.”

: “Well, that also. Though my experience of Almachadta is … heavily mired in the past. Sword-Saint and all, and even before that, a lot of the stories we tell are also histories. Maybe if you aren’t me, it’s easier to live in the present and look toward the future.”

: “Mmm, maybe.”

: “It’s … strange. I spent so much of my adult life, ever since I picked up the Mask when I was eighteen, waiting to die, and trying to think of a way to make my life count. It’s … odd, to think that I might have to watch the entire plane die while I live on.”

: “On the upside, definitely figured out a way to make it count?”

laughs.

keeps laughing.

looks at him in wonder. “Light, I love you Aurelius tou Asilos. I fucking adore you.”

: “I have no idea why you decided to start using those like actual names, but I love you too, Salme.”

: “(It’s appropriately dramatic?)”

doesn’t bite him for that, though considers it for a brief moment.

: “If you say so. And I suppose you would be the expert.”

: “I would. I can go with ‘Aurelius of Clan Emberlight’ if that feels better? It does seem sort of … special, though, to use titles given to us by … well, whatever [Libra] is.”

: “One could argue the names we chose for ourselves are more special than might-simply-be-plane-signifiers given to us by unknown forces… But. I’m not really stressing it.”

considers that for a moment. “I mean. You make a good point. And you’re big on self-determination, aren’t you?”

shrugs slightly.

: “You know I’m interested in whatever you’re thinking, even if you don’t feel strongly about it.”

: “That was the full extent of the thought already.”

: “Fair enough. Though. Hm. Another question—I know there’s history around why it makes you wary, but when I’ve offered to share things via methexis, you’ve often declined. Is there a reason for that?”

: “Aside from … the obvious. Light this was a stupid question. I just noticed you seem to prefer I try to use my own words first, awkward as they may be.”

: “Mmm. I mean, that’s really the jist of it. There’s enough thoughts and memories that I didn’t life already in there as is. And. You can learn different things from the way someone decides to relay information beyond the information itself.”

nods. “That’s partially why I tend to turn to it—I don’t trust myself not to editorialize.”

: “Fair, though I’m obviously okay with that.”

: “Yeah. You trust me more than I trust myself,” she gives him a wry smile. “It’s good for me, I think.”

: “Well, that’s good.”

: “It is.” She nudges her head against his again. “You’re, as I said, obnoxiously good at this, kulta. Thank you for being you.”

: “No problem, it comes pretty easy.”

just laughs and kisses him.