Scene Archives

stands in front of one of the newly-fully-finished shelves of the Library’s, and after a moments consideration places the book in his hands back upon it. He then turns and walks the full length of the outer path to reach the front of the couches facing the opposite direction, and plops himself down on it next to Salme. “So. In the interest of being slightly less ridiculous and clearing up confusion better: you didn’t really do anything wrong.”

doesn’t look at him. Instead, she’s serenely sewing an intricate bit of beadwork into a piece of thick fabric. “I think that isn’t true. You were right, to point out that I was being invasive. I’m mostly just surprised it took you this long to have a problem with it.”

: “It wasn’t even that I had a problem with it perse, it was more. You know that thing we do, where any time we come across something new, we initially both interpret it in slightly different, often unintended ways? Well it turns out that tone is sometimes difficult to convey purely via text. I had, incorrectly, read the italics as angry, or hostile, rather than joking. And so I got a bit defensive about it. Particularly because what me and Awa had been discussing at the time had nothing to do with the… umm… Prole…gomen…on…s(?) topic of discussion. And was, likewise, half expecting the idea of the Architect not being a villian to perhaps start an argument as well, which I wanted to avoid. So. Misunderstandings around, as normal. But. I think we caught this one pretty fast, and I would like to clear the air before either of our feelings become bruised.”

: “I mean, I didn’t love being told ‘that’s something you don’t need to know right now’ but I wasn’t …” she shakes her head, and pushes the needle through with enough force she accidentally pricks her finger. “Shit,” she says, sucking at the blood that beads on her finger. It gives her a moment to think, though, and when she takes her hand away, she looks at him. “You seem almost terrified of having an argument, especially for a guy from the Beast. Or, I mean, a guy who’s … partially from the Beast. Is there a reason for that? Is it me you’re scared of? Is it … the argument itself?”

: “Well, no, it just would have been a really stupid and pointless fight to have without all six of us present, is all. And. Also. Felt a little -“ He holds one hand up, placing his pointer finger and thumb very close together, “guilty about accidentally putting Awa on blast because I couldn’t edit the memory recording a bit tighter.”

: “But that’s sort of what I mean. You act like I’m about to fly off the handle at every little thing. And I know I made a bad impression with that but—I don’t know. I wouldn’t have even known it was something you discussed with Sininen if you hadn’t said so.”

: “Right, well, having been part of the memory it perhaps seemed more obvious to me.”

: “And, in my defense, the last time we talked about the Architect you had said you wanted to do some very horrible things to him, including a bit of murder and not simply defeating him in a rite.” A pause, before he reaches up and taps the back of a closed fist against the side of her head gentle. “And Awa had said he did not think the Architect was an enemy, and posited that he might even be on our side, somehow, and was manipulating events to have us help him help us help him, somehow? And. Absolutely was not aware you two had also talked about this. So. It seemed… reasonable, to me, to assume this might be kind of a hard sell to you.”

: “I mean.” She sighs, and she tucks the needle away. “I think he’s a piece of shit. And I want to see him suffer for those he’s already hurt. Even if … I don’t know if Wolf or Archie will ever get everything back that was taken from them, and I’ve seen how badly that hurts them. But I’m not stupid, and even if I am impulsive I don’t want to cause more harm to the worlds. Awoken pointed out that we don’t actually understand him, and he’s correct.”

: “Right, I never thought you were stupid. Simply knew you held anger. And rightfully so.”

: “I’ve always been angry. I do know how to control.” She looks down at her beadwork project, and laughs unpleasantly. “Well. Sometimes. But when the stakes are high, I wouldn’t—“ ⁂

looks at him, finally. “Aurelius, I am trying so hard to do this right. I don’t know if it seems like it, but I really am. And when you, of all people, tell me to mind my own fucking business I’m going to listen. You so rarely push back against anything. I just don’t know. What you want from me? When I don’t mind my actions you seem wary of my anger, and Awoken keeps getting hurt by my worry. It’s okay that I’m nosy, or you even like it, but then I go too far. I created the library as something that would help us, but it seems to have only caused strife. I just … Light, I almost begged Jorule for advice on this.” 🙧

taps the side of her head his his fist again, before moving it past her to wrap his arm around her shoulders. “You didn’t go too far, and you didn’t do anything wrong. I misread intent and made the situation worse. And so I am now trying to correct that. I am not… wary of your anger, in so far as I would rather not have it directed my way. Not because I’m scared of you, but because it’s unpleasant having someone you care for angry with you. And the library is a wonderful gift.” He pauses long enough to sigh, before turning a bit to rest his forehead directly against Salme’s. “It seems we are forever destined for these slight misteps, in dealing with one another. But any brief boughts of pain or confusion or bewilderment or angst are a mere footnote to the joy and delight and wonder your company gives me in return.”

She turns toward him, hooking her legs over his. “If the worst thing we’re destined for is slight missteps then we could do much, much worse. When I was a child, I lived, for a while, with three husbands who once had a fight so bad they would only communicate via written note for two weeks. So. There is that.” She laughs a little, but then adds, “though people fight. People who love each other fight too. That’s okay. I think we’re strong enough to survive some disagreement.”

nods seriously. “Right, see? This one didn’t even last five minutes.”

: “Yes, but. About the minding my own business—was that just defensiveness, or was there some truth there? Because my being … nosy … has been extensively commented upon. By you and your bird, on multiple occasions.”

shakes his head. “Purely a defensive reflex, and, again, not even primarily out of concern for myself. I promise if I ever feel you’ve overstepped your bounds, I will let you know. But so far you haven’t gotten even remotely close to the line.”

glances to the side. “That said, sometimes when you’re very focused on asking a person questions and are very intent on taking all they say in. You do. Tend to come across as more of an interrogator than a peer interested in an exchange of ideas.”

: “Which could, maybe, be a bit too intense for others.”

blinks. “Really?” She sounds completely baffled. “Do you … have an example?”

blinks in returns, then starts to laugh.

: “Umm… honestly I’d have to think real hard about it and perhaps check with Jorule for specific examples but.” Aurelius pulls his arm back as he sits back up. Scooches back slightly. Then leands forward, just a bit while making eye contact with Salme and willing his pupils to go as wide as they possibly can go. “But you do like this. Sometimes. And the way you phrase questions gets very blunt. And I can only assume the intensity is born of curiosity. But it is so… very intense. Hehehe.”

Frowns at the face he’s making. “(I do not look like that).” She frowns more. “I can be more careful, of course. Though if I caused problems for Jorule, it’s simply because I don’t mind what I say around him, since he doesn’t mind his words either.” She shrugs, just a quick twitch of her shoulders. “Anyone else outside of … you and Awa, well, they can also cope with their discomfort. I just don’t like the idea that I keep hurting you.”

: “I’m still … I know it wasn’t my fault, but with the Melpomene thing, I’m still bothered that you spent so long in your own head thinking it was somehow your fault.”

: “Oh, no, you absolutely look like that. And I’m perfectly fine. I only mention Jorule because he… sees more than I do.”

: “Yes, well, holding ourselves to a higher standard than we do others and making everything that goes wrong our fault is another way we are alike.”

coughs while looking a bit sheepish as he sits back up straight again.

: “Yes,” she says dryly, “I am aware both that Jorule is a voyeur and that we are alike in this way.” She shifts so she can take his hand, which really means she just deposits herself in his lap, resting her head against his shoulder. “I do just want you to know that it could have never been your fault, that every step we take is a step that matters. That …” she runs her thumb over the knuckles of his hand, “I’m proud of who I really am. At least, most of the time. That I’ve stopped feeling like I’m … some unexceptional interloper in a group of adventurers, and that you really helped me get there. And that really, since you told me that, I’ve wanted to make sure you know how … impossible those concerns you had actually were.”

wraps his arms around her in turn, before nodding slowly. “I’m glad to hear that, as you are indeed a very important member of this group, and a very important person besides. So I’ll keep that in mind for myself, as well.”

: “Do you ever … worry you aren’t important? I know, when I was having my Sword-Saint identity crisis, you made a kind of argument about that.”

: “Mmm…”

: “Probably about as much as anyone does. Not as much as you, clearly, but. I think everyone thinks that, at least a little bit. That in the grand scheme of things they’re not so unique, so important that they couldn’t be replaced. Enough to make a convincing argument. But just a bit.”

laughs a bit, softly, warm. “Just a bit of concern about your irrelevance in the grand scheme of things. That’s good to know.” She falls silent, and then adds, “I couldn’t imagine this without you. Not with some other hunter from the Beast, not with Annarr, not with Jorule-playing-Annarr. And obviously I’m biased but I think the fact that you’re here, in the way that you are, matters in a way the other configurations don’t. Can’t.”

: “Which is to say, sometimes I feel like the thing that means we might succeed is that it’s us, specifically. Though maybe I just want that to be true.”

: “Well, I’m certainly not going to argue that. I think I’ve been gravitating towards making that claim myself, the whole time.” He leans down to kiss the top of her head. “I’m glad you’re here with me too.” A pause, and then a laugh, “Goddess. Imagine Badri being here instead of you. No, no it wouldn’t be the same at all.”

: “Well, you’d have a very different father-figure as opposed to Wolf. And Jorule I guess? And Archie sometimes?” She shudders. “There’s too many dads running around.”

laughs a little harder. “Don’t I know it.”

: “Also! Men. Light, I explored the new island with Ksenija the other day, and I realized that I don’t think I had spoken to another woman in … ages. There should be some kind of test for that.”

: “Well, I assume part of that is because Samudra has lot of neither-quite-eithers, but. Yes, I suppose it is a bit of a sausage-fest in general with us, isn’t it?”

mouths the word ‘sausage-fest’, considers, and then starts giggling into Aurelius’ shirt. “Yeah. ‘Sausage-fest.’ That’s inspired.”

: “Oh do they not say that on Almachadta? Huh.”

: “I don’t think so? Though I could have forgotten. Though I’ve also … used words that afterwords I had no idea what they meant. Like ‘missionary.’”

: “Ahahahaha.”

: “Right, it didn’t seem like you all really had. Organized religion? Much less competing ones? So stands to reason no idea where that would have meant.”

: “Yeah. I mean, well, I know what it was describing, I just didn’t know where the term came from.”

frowns. “Wait, it’s a religious term?”

: “Yeah, religious missionaries. One part good will ambassador, one part explorer, two parts salesmen. They’re go to places far away from were their worshipers were primarily congregated and try and spread the word of their god or gods in an attempt to convert locals over to their religion, instead of whatever they believed in before hand. Not to be confused with missionaries, ie, the churches and temples they’d built in placed they took up residence rather than simply passing through.”

: “Okay, but what does that have to do with a standard sex position?”

pauses for a moment to stare down at Salme, then erupts into laughter.

: “I… I have no idea! Something about it being the most bland way to do the deed? From some religion that was near based around making you feel guilt for enjoying anything, but especially sex? So it wasn’t something you were ever doing for fun, Lord no, only to Make A Baby, as God intended…? Or something.”

starts laughing too. “Why in the Light’s name would I use that term? And why in the Light’s name would there be a religion that … only wanted you to have babies? And also … would … convert people?” The more she thinks about it, the worse it gets. “Are you only allowed a single deity in some of these places?”

: “Services are Weird.”

: “But so far as I understand, uh, kinda? Depended on the era? Each one was generally competing to have the most followers. Sometimes it was more violent than others. And a lot of ‘em only had one deity.”

: “Huh.” She sounds utterly, completely bewildered. “Is your Goddess like that?”

shakes his head. “No, not quite. I don’t think she ever really cared for worship or followers, despite what the frankly absurd number of statues would lead you to believe. She mostly just creates the world and then fucks off, after leaving some spirits behind to oversee the place, and even they’re pretty hands off.”

: “So this is a Bird Goddess, not a Beast Goddess?”

: “Oh, yeah.”

: “Don’t get the impression Beast has much in the way of religion? Some light spirituality? Super light animism? But like, SQ never declared herself Empress God-Queen or anything.”

: “You know, I did, briefly, wonder if the Scorpion Queen was your Goddess.”

: “I’m sure she’d be delighted to have someone fanboy so hard to wrap around to worship completely unprompted and without guidance, but, Goddess, no, hahah. Or hmm actually no she’d probably find that annoying honestly.”

shrugs. “Part of me was wondering if it was the stakes of the Rite Annarr lost. ‘If I win I get your sword and you have to call me Goddess.’ Or something like that.”

: “Naw, she only ever took the swords, for the throne. It’s like. A bit.”

: “A bit.”

: “The Beast is going to be so stupid.”

: “Yeah, an ‘iron throne’.”

: “We’ve been saying that this entire time!”

: “Yeah, I mean, I know about the throne, but it’s just a bit?”

: “You can’t possibly imagine it’s comfortable sitting on that, can you?”

: “No. But. Okay. You mean a bit as in ‘to look cool’ and not to just … ‘make a joke’?”

looks Salme directly in the eye, face as serious as it’s ever been.

: “You will be horrified to realize that, on the Beast, these two sentiments are almost always the same and inextricably intertwined.”

eyes widen in profound horror and her lips part slightly. “Oh no,” she groans theatrically. “Even stupider than I was thinking.”

: “Why do you think Unua and I are both Like This? It’s not all Birdness.”

: “What are you and Luĉja both like?”

: “A little bit over the top, a little bit ridiculous, and both extremely cool and good at humor.” Beat. “Obviously.”

: “Hmm.” She takes a moment to (rotate) that. “You know, I’ve always thought they were serious and straightforward, but put that way I can see it?”

: “The absolute devotion to taking things literally. The rock-eating. The big emotional moments. Yeah.” She nods, satisfied. “Oh. Also the fact that apparently you have a history of launching yourself off them?”

: “Well it’s not like everyone’s dialed up to 11 all the time, but. Yes.”

: “The rock thing especially is. That’s not a thing Endjinn normally do. It’s a party trick.”

laughs. “Amazing. Have they always been this way? That you can remember?”

: “Hmm… not as much? More subdued, until they really got fired up in the middle of a rite. Though I’m given to understand now that when we’d previous met was a bit of a lot point in their life, so stands to reason.”

: “Everyone they loved had died.” She grows quiet. “I’m glad they’re here with us now. And I hope to get to see them be more and more ridiculous.”

: “Mmm. Well, the baffling radiant star over the ocean sea and magic sword are certainly off to a good start there, I think.”

: “Yeah. I’ll be fascinated to find out if that’s still there when we get back. The star. The sword is obviously here to stay.”

: “I didn’t seem like it had any intention of letting gravity drag it down, at least.”

: “Yeah.” She curls into him. “Thank you, by the way. For making the effort to talk to me. To resolve the misunderstanding before it got out of control. For not making me resort to asking Jorule for relationship advice.”

nods as he gives a light squeeze. “I said I’d make an effort to lessen then before, and part of that means taking initiative as soon as I recognize when it happens. Thank you for hearing me out, and understanding.”

: “Always happy to listen to you, about pretty much anything.” She squeezes his hand. “Even weird bird religion.”