Scene Archives

ꙮ In search of the Beast’s most well-kept secrets… regarding cooking, that is! For now, at least. You’ve all had some time to relax and unwind, after the Rite - there’s an Even Nicer Place Saranzaya’s going to get you lodgings at tomorrow but she couldn’t finagle things sufficiently moment-of, but the traveling hunters’ inn you’re at at the moment is decent enough to get some rest, and more importantly, it’s near a tram line, which means that with enough patience and ability to read Queenstown’s truly gnarly and baffling tram maps, you can get anywhere you want within the city!

ꙮ The beating heart of Queenstown is, certainly, the Bazaar - overshadowed physically by the Queen’s Castle, but people generally don’t go to the Castle unless there’s something wrong, but they go to the Bazaar all the time, and the districts surrounding the Bazaar are, in general, the Place To Be. All the Iron Chef serious contenders all have a restaurant on Spice Row. Saranzaya gave you the name of a specific establishment - the Lucky Barncat - when you asked her for a place to start, but she was playfully mysterious, in her artful and inimitable fashion, as to why this establishment particularly.

ꙮ Luckily, the Bazaar is where most people are going, and a lot of the tram lines and schedules have helpful ‘hey THIS tram will get you closer to the Bazaar’ markers and such. It’s pretty packed - hunter clans bristling with trophies of their endeavours, artisans bringing goods to market, citizens of Queenstown out for a good time, or to do some shopping, or grab a bite to eat. The tram from here’s on an elevated line for a good part of the journey - it passes straight through the middle of a big metal framework that’s been built up around extensively, and people have painted colorful murals along gessoed metal walls. At one point, someone gets on the tram and they have an entire scaly monster tail they’re dragging along behind them, and getting it onto the tram is a whole production in and of itself – luckily, you got on fairly early, so you’re seated for all of this and get to people-watch!

ꙮ Everyone’s in a bit of a hurry, but they all seem like they’re going the same way, more or less - the tram unloads at a busy station, right next to the entrance to the Bazaar - two crossed covered, vaulted streets that look nearly as old as Queenstown themself, albeit well-maintained, with banners and pennants and someone’s playing something oddly haunting on a spike fiddle, you’re not sure where, for Lucre tossed into a stylish hat. But the address you were given isn’t in the Bazaar proper, it’s on Spice Row, next door - luckily, it’s not hard to find, you just have to take a deep breath, and go in the tastiest-smelling direction, and you’ll find it!

ꙮ There’s a lot of meat, and it’s strange - fiend-meat, monster-meat, root vegetables and weird tough leafy greens that undergo a dazzling variety of smoking, pickling, aging, stewing, pulverizing, grinding, fold spindle and mutilating processes in order to be rendered delicious - but, my gosh, are they all rendered delicious, or so your nose is reliably informing you. Rich, thick wafts of complicated spice mixtures, and every establishment has their own, and no two are the same; you feel like you could eat out even at the same restaurant here every day for a month and never have the same thing twice, due to the variability of what the Deepforge (and the Hunters) provide on any given day, and the capacity of the Beast’s population to adapt to that providence.

ꙮ Eventually, you see your destination - bright, colorful jewel-tone lamps hung in the windows, and from poles jutting out from the facade.

ꙮ Dressed in immaculate embroidered silks is a remarkably catlike metahuman, a bit shorter than you, who bows deeply, speaks in the accent of a clan from the Reach, which you wouldn’t recognise, but doesn’t sound quite like Luĉja or Aurelius or anyone else you’ve had close contact with, here. “Welcome, welcome to the Lucky Barncat, my friend! A table for one?” If they’re surprised to see a Kushtaka, they doesn’t show it on their face. Just a joyous whisker-twitch!

ꙮ ”Right this way, then!” And they lead you through the restaurant - dark, almost black wood floors, those jewel-tone hanging lamps all throughout. There’s a raised platform running down the -centre- of the restaurant, with tables and booths along either side of it, and three chefs - two feline, one human - theatrically pulling noodles with their hands, stretching and folding and stretching and folding, again and again – as much performance art as anything else. You’re seated at a table by the kitchen, and the menu you’re given features a prominent sketch of someone identified as Chef Lauritz, surrounded by a clowder of cat-chefs in some sort of traditional outland attire.

ꙮ Seems like a wide variety of clientele - you don’t have a good sense of how far a Lucre gets you here, yet, exactly, but the prices here seem like someone’s made an effort to keep them reasonable, while providing a memorable experience. Noodle-chefs cycle in and out from the stage, doing a circuit of the long platform, as you watch - there’s a lot of the catlike people here, but a pretty varied crowd all told. Even an Endjinn in a booth by the corner, eating a bowl of something alarmingly steaming-hot-looking. ⁂

ꙮ Eventually, someone comes to take your order. …an older man who looks like he’s seen his share of trials and travails, both in the field and in the kitchen. An eyepatch over one eye, an embroidered vest - and because you’d just been looking at the menu, it’s no mystery that it’s Lauritz himself. He gives you a patient, slow once-over with his eyes, and then, with a smile on his face: “So, what’ll it be today?”

ꙮ ”Gwahahahah! Just as I thought. I’ve already got the order going. May I sit with you for a moment?” His hands folded behind his back - despite the joyous laugh, still the picture of service.

ꙮ He seats himself across from Archie, with a smile. Holds out his hand. “You already know my name. May I ask yours?”

ꙮ He grins. “Oh, you get good at learning how to spot someone coming in with a notebook and a pen and a certain look in their eye. Whether a competitor, or an anonymous reviewer… either way, you want to put on your best performance possible.” His eye positively twinkles. “But, hmmm. Tell me something, Archie. Why do you want to enter the Three Grand Soups? Unless you’re -really- just here for the bouillabaisse.”

ꙮ He sits back, and listens, and takes it all in, nodding quietly to himself, eagle eye trained on the Kushtaka. “Quite a long way, is that so?” A smile. “I opened this restaurant with a dear friend because we felt Queenstown didn’t have enough of the Reach in it– it’s a long ways away, on the other side of the world. The Beast is the Beast wherever you go– but my muujgai friends were homesick, AND I knew that Queenstown was ready for the flavors only they could bring.” He leans back, a bit. “And I think Queenstown might be ready for another adventure, Archie. Here’s the thing– I’m not participating in the Grand Soups, this year. As much as this conversation’s stoked the embers of my heart…! I’m getting to old to go hunting landsharks every year.” A wry smile. “There’s a reason that one’s not on my menu any more. For that one, I refuse to make anything but the very best of the best.”

ꙮ Two steaming bowls of bouillabaisse are brought out - they’re humble, almost rustic, rich and savoury, a plate of rich crusty toasted bread slathered with garlicky rouille, the stew itself filling and redolent with fennel and herbs and– one might wonder if there are landfish as well as landsharks, but whatever they are, they smell incredibly appetizing.

ꙮ He grins, and takes a deep breath; breaks one of the pieces of bread and gives half to Archie and takes half for himself. “Feel free to eat up!” He certainly does so- savouring the first bite, and the second, and the third, before finally speaking again. “In a way I think of it as an opportunity. If I step out of the way while I’ve still got my marbles, it gives me a chance to mentor the next generation of Queenstown luminaries. So when a bright-eyed otter who’s already drawn quite the crowd at the Queenstown station walks through my front door…” He grins, again, a bit sharply. “How good are you and your friends at the hunt, Archie?”

ꙮ The stew’s just too… homey, too comforting, to get truly, truly fired up about. It’s not his specialty – but, gosh, it is delicious.

ꙮ And with every bite, your understanding of the complex interplay of flavours on the Beast deepens - the techniques they must use to soften the sharp edges of that which the Deepforge provides. Lauritz nods, approvingly, watching you savor your meal.

ꙮ Ascension!

ꙮ The ink flows from your pen. Lauritz watches, amused, as you scribble down insight after insight - and, apparently, he can read upside-down, because on one occasion he lets out a pleased ‘hm!”, or offers a gentle correction - or mentions the name of a Beast-local spice you clearly were describing but had yet to experience. He steeples his fingers together, his own stew nearly-finished. “Well, you’re quite good at this. If you ever retire from– whatever it is that brought you here, I daresay you could find work on Spice Row in some way or another. Buuuuut…” He leans forward. “If you want to win the Grand Soups…. you need to take -my- crown. I can guarantee you… that nobody there is going to be taking a heavy swing at the shark-fin. That’s been my home turf, all these years.” The corner of his mouth curls up in a smile.

ꙮ He grins. “Well. Two things. First… there’s a best kind of land-shark, for shark-fin soup. I’ve won the Grand Soups with it, you can count the trophies… but I’m not going to give my secrets up to just anyone. I challenge you to a Rite against my second, Khjerazh. The loser… has to divulge their most prized soup secrets to the winner!”

ꙮ ”Oh, yes, of course, of course! One doesn’t -rush- these things, or let good soup go to waste.” He grins, sopping up the last of his own with the heel of the bread. “As for the stage on which the contest will take place…” He leans back, hollers some impenetrable kitchen-lingo, and the chefs currently stretching noodles on the stage running through the restaurant snap to it, and bow to the patrons, and scamper back into the kitchen.

ꙮ As Archie finishes his soup, then, out from the kitchens strides a short, stout muujgai - the catlike humanoids Archie’s seen around the Beast - his ear’s ripped, he’s got an eyepatch on the eye Lauritz doesn’t have an eyepatch on, and they match, he’s got a wicked mohawk and he’s built like a brick shithouse - a short-haired grey cat, tough as nails, ‘IRON PAW’ tattooed on his forearm with the fur carefully shaved so you can see the tattoo. He’s got a leather apron on, and he’s brandishing a cast-iron frying pan in his left paw like it weighs nothing at all. “Hunters and their admirers,” he bellows, “We have some special entertainment for you, this afternoon!”

ꙮ ”I, Khjerazh of the Reach, will be competing against this HANDSOME STRANGER, newcomer to Queenstown, for the MOST NOBLE HONOR of the Lucky Barncat!” A spotlight snaps on to the stage by where Archie’s standing. You could hop right into it, if you’d like!

ꙮ That is a success!

ꙮ Gasps, from the audience! An outsider from Faraway Lands, competing in the Three Grand Soups?! And someone yells, “That guy fought the Queen at the station!”, and that just prompts another wave of delightfully-scandalised yapping, It’ll be the talk of the town, by tomorrow!

ꙮ Khjerazh gives Archie a roguish grin, and stomps the stage with a practiced THUMP on a floorboard that he knows damn well has a little hollow space underneath! “You’re on!” And so, a Rite of the Dragon! The stakes: the MOST NOBLE HONOR, and soup secrets! [SOUP SECRETS].

ꙮ Archie can feel a presence on the battlefield. Next to him - in what direction? All directions, or none at all? But it is there -

ꙮ Ignore that, I’m a fool.

ꙮ It is! You can’t tell much more than that - it’s an echo of an echo of something, so attenuated as to be insurmountably faint. But it is present by his side. In a tie, the challenger strikes first, and as Archie strode boldly through the door, he is the challenger here!

ꙮ The chef executes a sudden pirouette - and when he’s whirling back towards you, he’s used some trick of the gnosis to make it look like there’s a Delicious Fried Egg in his frying pan! It’s distractingly tasty-looking, and you can’t stop thinking about it! It just gets right in there! You want that fried egg, but then he whirls again and it vanishes! [Parley] for a Curse and a Poison in your draw pile, and your opponent stresses 1!

ꙮ Archie?

ꙮ The Presence absorbs the possibilities strewn onto the stage!

ꙮ The chef whirls around in the OPPOSITE direction… and there’s ANOTHER DELICIOUS FRIED EGG. It’s ALSO a horrible illusion produced by gnosis! [Viper Bite] for another Poison!

ꙮ Archie!

ꙮ He takes 1 Stress for targeting you, also.

ꙮ ”Gwahahahha!” The chef spins, and spins, and spins closer - and then gives Archie a big, dramatic thwack with the frying pan! (It’s. It’s a trick frying pan, it makes a huge ringing gong of a sound, but it’s not actually nearly as heavy as it looks. Still packs a punch, though!) [Heavy Strikes] for 3 Stress and a Wound, and the chef takes another Stress for targeting him. Archie!

ꙮ The chef beams delightedly and gives Archie another huge telegraphed THWACK before dropping into a defensive stance and taking one last Stress for targeting him! [Guarded Strike] for [3] and another Wound, and 2 Defense.

ꙮ Archie?

ꙮ The chef turns around, for a moment or two - makes motions with the frying pan like he’s perpetrating a stirfry or something - and then turns around and the frying pan is just. Overflowing with fried eggs? (He’s got one bit, but it’s a really good bit.) [Devils Banquet]

ꙮ Khjerazh rears back, and hoists the frying pan over his head! And! Clangs it down on Archie with a THWOOOONNNGGG that resounds through the entire district! (What really happened is, there’s a cleverly concealed gong somewhere in the establishment. It’s one hell of a gong. But, I mean, he still did get thwacked with a frying pan.) [Beatdown] for 6, which isn’t enough to bring him down in time with his defense in play!

ꙮ Khjerazh blinks… and steps backwards… and falls backwards onto his ass with a pained yoooowwwwwwl that immediately, IMMEDIATELY, turns into a helpless laugh, which just hurts WORSE but he can’t stop LAUGHING and stomping his feet on the ground. There’s raucous applause from the entire establishment! [KO]

ꙮ Including from Lauritz, who’s been watching everything from a safe distance, and calls out, “Well, hunters and their admirers, we have a winner. Archie, from Faraway Lands!” And the applause just gets louder.

ꙮ Eventually, Lauritz gets up on stage to give Khjerazh a hand up; the cat refuses to leave the stage without shaking paws with Archie, but will rather quickly trudge off to – probably have some kind of comfort food, after that thoroughly impressive trouncing.

ꙮ …Lauritz and Archie end up back at the booth, when all’s said and done. He smiles. “Well. I certainly have no doubt in my mind about you as a hunter, now. So I have a secret for you, and a confession to make.” 🙧

ꙮ A murmur from Lauritz into a passing waiter’s ear, and another order of soup is on the way. While they’re waiting: “So. There’s a specific -kind- of landshark that’s got the most delicate fins in the world. Found ‘em in the Reach, as a local delicacy. Totally transparent, if you can believe it. They’re how I won the Three Grand Soups, again and again- glass shark fin, carefully prepared and dried under the moons and stars. But the thing is… with the fiends and monsters changing, and acting up the way they’ve been? Nobody’s seen a glass shark in months. So… if you can find one? With your skills? Even Chef Juliano doesn’t have a chance, and his bouillabaisse is– you should try it sometime, it’s even better than mine.”

ꙮ He gives a nod - and then actually pulls out a package he must have had prepared, or had someone prepare for him while the Rite was going on, and slides it across the table to Archie. “I’d never give away ALL of my secrets. But this ought to give you a good push in the right direction.” It’s got recipes, observations Lauritz has made over the years, a couple different packages of spices and spice mixtures… “As for your question, as with a lot of things in our history… nobody’s really sure. I think it happened the same way a lot of our specialties did… one hunter sitting across from another at a campfire, both of ‘em drunk and hungry, and one of them said, hah, I bet you can’t turn THAT bullshit into something palatable, and the other one went, hah, you’re on– and a little while later, the Beast had a new delicacy. You’d be amazed how often that happens…”

ꙮ For a normal human, his ears certainly CAN still perk up dramatically at the mention of breeding plants to make new species. You get… the distinct sense… that this is a man who would HAPPILY spend hours upon hours in SauceLab. “That… sounds absolutely incredible. I’ll have you know, I’m going to be on the judging panel, this year. And I don’t plan on going easy on you! But I have a real feeling you’re going to show me flavours and textures I’ve never even imagined, and I can’t wait.”

ꙮ He grins. “People will be talking about the Rite at the Lucky Barncat for weeks, the meal paid for itself-“ -and laughs, and gives Archie the kind of shoulder-pat that’s almost a straight-up hug. “It was a magnificent performance, Archie, as I’m sure will be your performance at the Three Grand Soups. At this rate, your enthusiasm is going to rekindle my own. Maybe some festival, we’ll even end up facing each other properly!” Another sharp, but very sincere, grin. “A pleasure to meet you, my friend, and the best of all possible fortune. Kick some shark ass for old Lauritz, will you?”